I hereby win the 2017 Arthur Ashe Courage award. I'm coming out as a toaster. Some of you may not be ready, not comfortable, or just unprepared for this momentous occasion, but I can no longer live a lie. On my second birthday, I was sitting near a toaster, and I heard a *ding*. For a moment I thought it was the toaster near me, but then I noticed that that toaster was unplugged and that it was actually me. Ever since that day, I knew I was a toaster. If any of you think I'm just a normal human, and not a toaster, than you are selfish bigots. It's the 21st century. To everyone who lost limbs saving our country, or was diagnosed with cancer and is no longer able to pursue their dreams: Screw you, I'm more courageous for coming out as a toaster. It's such an honor to be receiving this wonderful award, and thank you for recognizing me for who I am, a toaster.
I hereby win the 2017 Arthur Ashe Courage award. I'm coming out as a toaster. Some of you may not be ready, not comfortable, or just unprepared for this momentous occasion, but I can no longer live a lie. On my second birthday, I was sitting near a toaster, and I heard a *ding*. For a moment I thought it was the toaster near me, but then I noticed that that toaster was unplugged and that it was actually me. Ever since that day, I knew I was a toaster. If any of you think I'm just a normal human, and not a toaster, than you are selfish bigots. It's the 21st century. To everyone who lost limbs saving our country, or was diagnosed with cancer and is no longer able to pursue their dreams: Screw you, I'm more courageous for coming out as a toaster. It's such an honor to be receiving this wonderful award, and thank you for recognizing me for who I am, a toaster.
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