I woke up this morning and went for a bike ride grabbed a tube of
cyanide and crashed into a dude at high tide, police showin up thinking its a double homicide and everyone is traumatized cause I swallowed my tooth and i died,
Came back to life and walked into a dry cleaners and said, "I need an extra small tube top for my penis, cause if that dude the rock keeps trying to come between us I'll use him as ammo for my trebuchet and fucking toss his ass to Venus." The store clerk said, "you sure that'll work?" And I was like, "Shut up you poor jerk you look older than George Burns."
He told me you could take the exit to the next mall but if you want an extra small how you gonna have sex with us all? I said fuck it and had sex with a saw, then I cut her out of my life and got breakfast with Paul, we went to Denny's, smashed a bottle of henny and I whipped out my phone to call my main bitch Jenny, she said, "Craig residence." I said, "Bitch you still skinny? Cause I'm cheesin for a burger but I can't find any. And if nuthin else ill come and tell you I love you babe fumble under ya belt till you come with a yell." She cried and got onery, yelled and hung up on me, but fuck it, I'd rather not have my bitch scrawny, and if she thinks she's harmin me I'll fuck her and her mom till both of them cum in harmony. Went to the funeral home where a service had just started, opened the casket of the departed and said, "Hey who the fuck farted? I was gonna crawl in here to keep this guy company but it smells like fromunda cheese and I think his heart started. He fist bumped me, jumped up and I chased him down fifth street and i saw a lady cop and got frisky. Said, "excuse me ma'am but I got this here fifty if you'll handcuff me to your arm and then swiftly frisk me." So now I'm locked up for disturbing the peace, banged a cup against the bars and yelled "your service stinks! I know it's my fault and I deserve It i think but what's a guy gotta do to get some bourbon to drink?" Made a fool of myself, but I was actin awfully macho waited till everyone was watching and started singing Pagliaccio. They finally let me go after James paid my bond, I told him thanks and asked if he wanted To run a train on his mom, but he left so I told him don't be a stranger got in my
Ford ranger and started jerkin it to Kimmy Granger. Smoked a blunt with Roy blunt and said I voted for Pedro, got in my grey boat and fucked his A hole like I would J-Lo, cause if I could stick it to any singer in show biz it'd be Jennifer Lopez and puffy you know this, and if you spit on my onion rings there's a hundred things I'd do to show you what the thunder brings. Y'all are just blundering and blubbering I'm the son of kings and this isn't even a battle but I bet it would still make me a hundred g's.
cyanide and crashed into a dude at high tide, police showin up thinking its a double homicide and everyone is traumatized cause I swallowed my tooth and i died,
Came back to life and walked into a dry cleaners and said, "I need an extra small tube top for my penis, cause if that dude the rock keeps trying to come between us I'll use him as ammo for my trebuchet and fucking toss his ass to Venus." The store clerk said, "you sure that'll work?" And I was like, "Shut up you poor jerk you look older than George Burns."
He told me you could take the exit to the next mall but if you want an extra small how you gonna have sex with us all? I said fuck it and had sex with a saw, then I cut her out of my life and got breakfast with Paul, we went to Denny's, smashed a bottle of henny and I whipped out my phone to call my main bitch Jenny, she said, "Craig residence." I said, "Bitch you still skinny? Cause I'm cheesin for a burger but I can't find any. And if nuthin else ill come and tell you I love you babe fumble under ya belt till you come with a yell." She cried and got onery, yelled and hung up on me, but fuck it, I'd rather not have my bitch scrawny, and if she thinks she's harmin me I'll fuck her and her mom till both of them cum in harmony. Went to the funeral home where a service had just started, opened the casket of the departed and said, "Hey who the fuck farted? I was gonna crawl in here to keep this guy company but it smells like fromunda cheese and I think his heart started. He fist bumped me, jumped up and I chased him down fifth street and i saw a lady cop and got frisky. Said, "excuse me ma'am but I got this here fifty if you'll handcuff me to your arm and then swiftly frisk me." So now I'm locked up for disturbing the peace, banged a cup against the bars and yelled "your service stinks! I know it's my fault and I deserve It i think but what's a guy gotta do to get some bourbon to drink?" Made a fool of myself, but I was actin awfully macho waited till everyone was watching and started singing Pagliaccio. They finally let me go after James paid my bond, I told him thanks and asked if he wanted To run a train on his mom, but he left so I told him don't be a stranger got in my
Ford ranger and started jerkin it to Kimmy Granger. Smoked a blunt with Roy blunt and said I voted for Pedro, got in my grey boat and fucked his A hole like I would J-Lo, cause if I could stick it to any singer in show biz it'd be Jennifer Lopez and puffy you know this, and if you spit on my onion rings there's a hundred things I'd do to show you what the thunder brings. Y'all are just blundering and blubbering I'm the son of kings and this isn't even a battle but I bet it would still make me a hundred g's.
Comment